Pleasure Puzzle Boxes

Everyone now knows how to find the meaning of life within himself. But mankind wasn't always so lucky. Less than a century ago, men and women did not have easy access to the puzzle boxes within them. But, now we do. And now, what do we do. -Kurt Vonnegut But what about the puzzle? How big, how intricate, how easy, how confusing, will it be? And, how many pieces am I working with? I began with 6 that blasted into 6 billion pieces. All a part of the puzzle of life. Sometimes I tell myself I cannot handle all the possibilities. Sometimes I just sit and write spirals of thoughts onto a page. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, anxious. Can it be like a penny diner where there are four items on a menu to choose from? Life choices simplified to what it is, so shall be. The old town boy’s easy decision, 2 eggs over easy, bacon, and toast with butter and jam. NOW is an ubiquitous tapestry of woven stories. NOW is a multi-layered cake of past and present. This mind and mouth open wide and confused, waiting for the right flavors to jump in. I lay out my pieces to my puzzle; flip them right side up and move the corner pieces to their edges. Like colors go next to each other and the full picture materializes in my mind’s eye. Then, I look down and lose the vision to the massive pile. Too many options. You’ll say; “Always begin with the corners. Pick one piece off at a time and you’ll form a stable and gradual picture.” But, poof! I light it on fire. Shit! Why’d I do that? I did it because I am a spiritual woman, asking these questions and dealt with a hand of fiery passion. Truth! Ha, Ashes back to Earth. Out of all my truth’s pain and pleasure, my wheels keep spinning. Who’s operating this ferris wheel I am on? I have been stuck at the peak for days… years…moments. Who am I? A teacher? A healer? An intuitive? A misfit? Reinvention, again and again, is on the horizon. It has been done before, but not at this time or moment. I simultaneously exist within my pieces. I am always asking and answering, breaking and shaping. The puzzle of life.